Lately I've been staying sane by watching copious amounts of Love Island. It started when I was sick with a non-covid cold that still kicked my ass and I didn't really feel up to much besides laying in bed. I took a sick day off work which I haven't done in forever. I wanted to watch something to zone out to, so I chose Love Island, the British reality dating show with 60-episode seasons. In England, the show airs every summer, and it airs every day of the week. It's not live, but the episodes are only a couple days away from real time.
Like all dating shows, it involves a group of hot singles wearing little outfits and making out and hanging by a pool. These singles are at a villa in Spain where they remain for two months. People get eliminated, new people get added, couples form and break up. It's truly the circle of life. The prize is 50,000 pounds, which is roughly $60,000 split between the couple, which is really not that much money for two months of work. But of course the goal is not money but to fall in love. At first I was like "obviously they can't all be looking for love, some of them just want fame and money" which is of course true but it also does genuinely seem like they want love too. And since there is audience voting involved — viewers vote on their favorite contestants and couples, who they think is most compatible, etc. — the only way to truly excel in the game is to have palpable chemistry with your partner.
There are love triangles and fights and tears and all that good stuff, but a lot of the show is just mundane. Every day the islanders in the villa wake up (they all sleep in one room with a row of beds like Madeline). In the morning, the girls go sit on the terrace to discuss their feelings while the boys — still in their tiny little briefs — go to a different corner of the villa to discuss their feelings. Then the boys bring the girls iced coffee or juice (if they don't, it's a sign that the couple is doomed). Then the girls do their hair and makeup for their daytime look, which is always a bikini, and the gang spends the rest of the day hanging out. They hang out by the pool, on the outdoor daybeds, on the terrace, in the kitchen. They "pull each other for chats" and flirt and go swimming. Sometimes the show makes them play deranged games that involve strip teasing in a mechanic's outfit or something like that.
At night all the girls go to their dressing room and put on their night time outfits, usually a small dress, while the boys put gel and stuff in their hair. And then they do the same thing they've been doing all day, which is hang out. They drink, but never enough to be noticeable; the cast are only allowed two drinks a night and only beer or wine, no liquor. Usually some dramatic event will occur and then they all go to sleep and do the exact same thing the next day.
The islanders get into a routine while living there, and when watching I feel like I'm getting into a routine with them. Watching the mundanity of their lives in the villa is soothing to me. I've "joked" many times this year that I feel like my household has been cursed by a witch. For example my dog was in the middle of undergoing heartworm treatment when I learned we had bed bugs and while my boyfriend was driving home from a trip after learning this news our car broke down. There was a weeklong period where my dog had diarrhea like 5-7 times a day. I got sick with the aforementioned cold that was so bad I had to take five covid tests because I didn't believe the negative. This past weekend we went on a very deserved vacation to a lake house near Buffalo but when we arrived there were three racist lawn jockey statues on the property and the hosts were blasting Fox News, so we did not stay there and reported them to Airbnb. Then we instead stayed in a basement hotel room loosely themed around John Dillinger. Also I read the news so obviously I'm in a bad mood constantly.
But they don't have any of these problems in the villa. Can you imagine their luxury villa dealing with bed bugs? They'd be like "oi mate, this is itchy as hell" or "sorry bruv but these buggers are driving me loony." But actually since I just read that Boris Johnson resigned, I wonder if they get that news in the villa.
One of my greatest accomplishments, possibly of my entire life, is getting Shawn hooked on Love Island. He's a movie man who isn't into reality TV or really much TV at all. I wanted to watch the season of Love Island currently airing in England (episodes are released later on Hulu) and told him if he watched the first two episodes with me, I'd watch whatever movie he wanted (tbd). On our recent vacation, we ended every day by getting comfy in "John Dillinger's bachelor pad" and watching 1-3 episodes of Love Island. Now we absolutely cannot stop talking in British accents, calling each other bruv, etc. Yesterday he said "can I pull you for a chat?" to our dog Sesame before taking her on a walk.
Not everyone finds comfort in TV but I certainly do. If you want to be convinced to watch, here are some highlights from this current season:
An Italian man named Davide who acts like a cartoon character of an Italian man. A buff and beautiful Mario. He's always wearing the tightest skinny jeans I've ever seen.
A 19-year-old dressage rider who is the daughter of a famous British footballer (Michael Owen, if that means anything to you).
A guy who has two nose piercings, a cartilage piercing, and a nipple piercing
A Turkish woman named Ekin-Su who stars in Turkish soap operas which you can tell because she is the center of most drama
A rugby player named Jacques who pronounces it like "Jax"