For the past nine months, I’ve had a job that involved looking at hundreds of Amazon listings every week. I hated this because it was boring and also because I hate Amazon. I stopped using it years ago, so it was news to me when I got this job just how unhinged the selection of products on Amazon has become. As you may know from previous installments of this series, it has some of the most baffling product photos known to man.
I started doing this to keep myself sane on the job, but today is my last day at this job (thank god!!) and I start a new one next week. I’m very excited to not spend hours each day on that evil website. As a farewell, here is a final selection of chaos.
There is so much going on in this image I don’t even know where to begin. I believe this is a product for a chalkboard, which is displaying the menu of a barbecue restaurant. Inexplicably, there is a stack of books next to it dressed as a student graduating from school. And is that a miniature TV in between them?
Troubling you is right. This one feels like an eerie threat.
Here we have another chalkboard, demonstrate its use in a baby name announcement. I’ve never heard the name “Krynn” in my whole life. When I googled it I found a page on the “Dragonlance wiki” that says “Krynn is the third planet in the Krynnspace solar system.” Sounds about right!
Whenever I buy a rug, I’m looking for something soft and plush. Of course the only way to measure this is by stacking up a bunch of loose iPhones I have lying around.
If I walked into someone’s house and they had a photo collage of themselves doing silly poses with pastries, I would fall on my knees before them in worship.
I’ve encountered this device — which cleans your microwave with steam — so many times. But I can’t get over this image of a furious lego with its skull ripped open.
I can’t tell if it would make the situation better or worse if the sheep had eyes.
Buying a shirt of Amazon and melting it with an iron is really a good summary of why you should not buy clothes from Amazon. Everything is made from plastic. Even if it says cotton, it’s probably plastic.
Watch out! There’s a miniature diva with bloody hands on the loose!!! If it’s not clear, this is supposed to advertise handle covers you put on your fridge to prevent your freakish child from getting it dirty.
Transit! Sexy home. Style to daily gentleness?
Finally!